My Biography Written in Third Person (with editorial comments written in first person)

Tim Lehnert lives in Cranston, Rhode Island with his family. His short plays have been performed by theaters around the U.S. (not in tons of states I grant you, but they are geographically dispersed: RI, MA, MS, FL, CA, NY and PA). Providence’s Wilbury Theatre produced his four-part Zoom mob comedy “The Debt” in 2020. (This is no way to watch theater, but it was during the pandemic and I had a lot of fun doing it; plus, it was written for Zoom, not shoe-horned into it).

He is the author of the book Rhode Island 101 (this is now quite out of date, but has some good content, particularly the lists of 5 gathered from local worthies on topics including crime, weather, sports, history and RI slang and accent). He has also published journalism, essays and humor pieces in the Boston Globe Magazine, the Christian Science Monitor, Rhode Island Monthly and the Providence Journal (plus other publications which have folded or are on the verge of so doing. I used to sometimes write 750-word humor/social commentary essays and send them to newspapers or magazines who might pay a modest sum for publication. Now, if you’re very lucky, they might publish it for free. I understand the economics of it, and it’s not like it was ever a real money maker, but it’s still a drag. I could list other places that have published my stuff, but who cares really? So boring. Okay, okay, just one more: the Fall River Herald News). I’d like to do a Substack, but fear I would spend as much time agitating people to read it as I would actually writing it.

His short fiction for adults and kids has appeared in U.S., Canadian and Australian literary journals and magazines (here’s the paradox of literary journals: nobody has heard of them, very few people read them, and yet it’s quite hard to get a story published in one of them. And in most cases you don’t get paid, which I totally understand).

His bread-and-butter work includes writing immigration petitions for “scientists of extraordinary ability” (this a niche in which I’ve lived for many years; I do this for an immigration law firm which works with universities and other institutions employing these high-value individuals). Occasionally he serves as a “standard patient actor” for the Rhode Island Nursing Education Center (this is pretty infrequent, but the deal is I act sick, or, more frequently, play the spouse, parent or child of a sick person. You work from a script; I don’t just make up a random illness).

Me personally? I grew up in Montreal, lived in Los Angeles for twelve years, and have lived in Rhode Island since 2002. We (me, the wife, and our two daughters when they are here) live in a city/suburb next to Providence. It’s not glamorous, but suits my purposes well. I’m the Vice-President of Providence Books Through Bars, a small, all-volunteer non-profit that sends free books to incarcerated people who write us requesting reading materials. In the warmer months, I’m part of a small team that tests water taken from Providence’s Mashapaug Pond. It’s no longer that relevant, but I accrued degrees from Queen’s University (Kingston, Ontario), McGill University (Montreal) and Cal State University, Northridge. English/writing and political science were my bags.

You can contact me at timlehnert22@gmail.com